she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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