they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
