i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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