Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
