I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
