I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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