Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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