I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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