I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
