News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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