I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
