Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
