I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
