Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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