No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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