Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
