You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I deserve this hangover.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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