Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I touched a dick in church today
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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