You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
