There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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