I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
