If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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