A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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