And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
