Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Is it penis luge time yet?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
