She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
