Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
honey bunches of taint.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You are a genius and a whore.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
