After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
