Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize