what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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