I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
