dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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