I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
