this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
