You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
