I just threw up on my dentist
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
