and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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