I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
