In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
