The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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