Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
