Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
