Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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