She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
