ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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