mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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