every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
bring money and cleavage
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
