Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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