4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Duck Duck Cougar?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
