He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize