She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
