Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
