there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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