Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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