you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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