does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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