You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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